Spoiler Alert: The world is a big, bad place. Rejection, especially in dating and love, really stings and depending on how we’re feeling about ourselves, the pain can linger for a bit. Yet, it’s an almost inevitable side effect of putting yourself out there. Feeling bad makes you as human as they come. It isn’t just a given in the experience but an essential skedaddle until you find someone who truly makes you happy. Here’s a little plan to deal with rejection that can help you grow from the experience of being turned down without feeling like your love life has been toppled upside down.
Date Like a Detective
Think of every introduction as a quest for compatibility. Approach each date with the curiosity of a detective solving a case. You’re gathering clues, not trying to pass a test. This mindset shift can make rejection feel more like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit rather than a personal attack.
Evaluate Your Emotional State
Do you feel drained or unmotivated after going on back-to-back dates? Are you avoiding dating altogether due to feeling overwhelmed or burnt out? Are you quick to dismiss a connection by focusing on their flaws? If yes, take a raincheck and look at the larger picture.
Accept the Awkwardness
Go on dates only when you feel the social battery in you to be fully present or engaged. Instead of running from it, embrace the awkwardness– laugh at yourself, share embarrassing stories, and you’ll find that rejection loses its sting when you’re having fun along the way.
Keep a Dating Diary
Sounds deranged for any adult? We know. But if you jot down your experiences, what you learned, and how you felt, you could use it to track patterns, discover what works for you, what doesn’t, and identify areas for improvement. It’s like creating your own dating instruction manual; with each entry, you become wiser and more resilient.
Stir The Pot
Do you find yourself choosing the same place over and over for an IRL date? Or reaching out for the same shirt in your closet? It could be a coping mechanism to blame it on your ‘date spot’ or ‘date outfit’ in case things go awry. Show excitement in planning interesting or unique dates, switch up your presentation, and it might all be well worth the chance!
Flip the Script
Be mindful when you’re believing anxious assumptions. Most often, they are not our most accurate representations. Are you able to show up as your authentic self? Think more about the whys or why-nots when you wish to take conversations forward with potential connections.
Instead of fearing rejection, celebrate it! Each no or maybe or uh-huh or even ‘will I ever see you again?’ is a stepping stone towards the right person. It’s a reminder that you’re taking risks, learning and being quite brave through a vulnerability maze. Bonus points for embracing the journey with a sense of adventure.