We get that you’ve found the one – yes, she listens to The Smiths. Yes, he likes the same 80s rom-coms you do and everything is sunshine and rainbows. You’ve had the big conversation, and now the ring is on your finger (or theirs). But what happens next? Is it time for chat mangni pat vyaah, or should you consider taking things slow?
When you’re in love, it’s easy to believe that nothing else matters—why wait when you’ve already found your soulmate? The idea of spending forever with the one you love is undeniably magical. But before you dive headfirst into wedding plans, consider this: taking a step back and slowing down could be the wisest decision you’ll ever make – Here’s why.

1. The Power of Time

How long have you really known each other? Have you spent enough time together to truly understand one another beyond the honeymoon phase? The longer you’ve been together, the more you’ve had the chance to see your partner in different situations—good and bad. This deeper understanding can strengthen your relationship, giving you a better foundation for marriage. It’s not that couples who marry quickly can’t make it work—it’s just that time stacks the odds in favour of those who wait.

2. Weathering Life’s Storms Together

Love isn’t just about candlelit dinners and weekend getaways; it’s about standing by each other when life gets messy. Have you faced major challenges together—like the loss of a loved one, a health crisis, or financial stress? These are the moments that reveal your true compatibility and resilience as a couple. How does your partner handle their emotions when things go wrong? How do they support you when you’re at your lowest? Knowing how to navigate life’s storms together is crucial before you take the plunge into marriage.

3. Assessing conflict patterns

Let’s face it: all couples fight. The question is, how do you fight? Do you both handle disagreements like adults, or do arguments turn into blame games, shouting matches, or worse? Understanding how you both approach conflict—and whether you can resolve it without damaging the relationship—is essential. Spend time together, see how you handle disagreements, and ask yourself if this is something you can manage for a lifetime.

4. Financial Readiness

Marriage comes with a price tag, literally. From the wedding itself to moving in together, starting a family, and possibly buying a home, the financial implications are enormous, and that’s just the beginning. Have you and your partner discussed your finances in detail? Do you have debts, savings, or differing spending habits? Financial disagreements are one of the leading causes of divorce, so it’s essential to be on the same page.

5. Maturity Is Knowing What You Need—Not Just What You Want

Let’s be honest—who you are at 23 is worlds apart from who you’ll be at 33. In your early 20s, you’re still figuring things out, which often leads to impulsive decisions. That’s why it’s wise to date your partner for a few years before taking the plunge. But as you grow older, the dynamics shift. By the time you hit your 30s, 40s, and beyond, you’re much more confident in what you want, less willing to compromise, and far less likely to make hasty choices. At this stage, you’ve likely evolved into the person you’re meant to be, and the need for a lengthy courtship may not be as crucial.

6. Communication: The Real Deal-Maker

You might think you’re great at communication because you’ve dissected your favourite movies, debated the mysteries of the universe, and had in-depth political discussions. But real communication in a marriage goes much deeper. It’s about being vulnerable, hearing things that might sting, and navigating conflicts without causing lasting damage. If you haven’t mastered this yet, marriage could become a battlefield. Have you tackled the big topics—children, religion, lifestyle, family dynamics, where you want to live? If not, it’s worth pressing pause until you’re both on the same page.

The Bottom Line
Marriage is a profound commitment—one that deserves thoughtful consideration. Love is the foundation, but it’s just the beginning. Before you rush down the aisle or tie the knot, take a deep breath, and make sure you’re really ready for what comes after the wedding. Waiting doesn’t mean you’re not in love—it means you’re smart enough to know that love alone isn’t always enough. And when you’re ready, the right one will be right there

Marriage. The word conjures images of candlelit dinners, the seven vows with fire as a witness, and happy smiles hopeful for a bright future. But what makes a truly happy marriage? Is it the grocery runs or the Netflix binges? Is it about the company for your morning coffee, or the one who eats all the olives off your plate?

It’s something much simpler. A promise to be a team, and remain a team even when things go south. This is only possible if you’re a couple that knows each other like you know yourselves, something you can only achieve through properly expressing yourself. This is what makes communication the glue that holds a marriage together.

Communication is not just a post-marriage necessity – but a priority you should hold even before tying the knot. Communication isn’t something you switch on after the honeymoon; it starts way before, during those heady days of getting to know each other. This is where honesty becomes crucial. Are you open about your dreams, your baggage, and your expectations for the future?
Talking about finances, family dynamics, and even your weird quirks might not be the most romantic conversations, but they lay the foundation for a future where there are no surprises. Here are some ways you can make your communication with your partner better:

It Starts Before the Big Day

Let’s be honest (pun intended!), marriage isn’t a walk in the park. It’s a beautiful, messy, constantly evolving adventure. So, before you take the plunge, make sure that you have thoroughly talked about what lies ahead. Discuss your hopes, dreams, and even your anxieties. Are you on the same page about finances, children, or career aspirations? Talking openly about these things ensures you’re entering the marriage with eyes wide open, not rose-coloured glasses

Looking Beyond “Winning” the Argument

Marriage isn’t a competition. It’s a partnership. And that means truly listening to your spouse, not just waiting for your turn to speak. When they express a concern, validate their feelings. When they share a dream, get excited with them! Active listening builds a foundation of trust and empathy, the cornerstones of any healthy relationship.

Celebrate Differences:

No two people are exactly alike, and that’s the best part! Both partners bring different things to the table, and that is your relationship’s greatest strength. Discuss your differences in opinions, habits, and lifestyles. How will you handle conflicts? How do you stop minor disagreements from escalating to all out fights? Some prefer to resolve issues immediately, while others need time to cool down before addressing the problem with a clear head. These seemingly mundane talks can prevent bigger issues later.

Speaking Your Truth: “I Feel” Statements Can Save the Day

Sometimes, disagreements are inevitable. But how you communicate them makes all the difference. Finger-pointing and accusatory language only lead to resentment. Instead, try telling them how you feel. “I feel hurt when you…” or “I feel frustrated because…” These phrases shift the focus to your emotions, allowing your partner to understand your perspective without feeling attacked.
Let’s be real, communication isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. There will be times when you struggle to find the right words or when frustration boils over, and that’s perfectly normal. It’s important to keep practicing, to acknowledge your mistakes, and to keep coming back to each other with an open heart.

From the early stages of your relationship to the many years you spend together, maintaining open, honest, and empathetic communication is key. It helps you understand each other better, navigate life’s challenges together, and keep the love alive. So, whether you’re just starting your journey or have been together for years, remember that every meaningful conversation brings you closer to a stronger, happier marriage.

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So you found ‘the one’, and the palpable excitement of your wedding flows in all its glory. The wedding bells are chiming, the invitations have been sent out, and the Pinterest boards are ready. But before you get swept up in outfit fittings, floral arrangements, and cake tasting, there’s one crucial step you must not leave out—premarital counselling.

You wouldn’t build a house without a blueprint, right? Premarital counselling is like your relationship’s architectural plan. You and your partner get to brainstorm, discuss, and iron out the nitty-gritty of your future together, all with a neutral guide (the counsellor) to help navigate and mediate. It’s where you lay out your musts and must-nots, saving you the headache of these unwanted problems coming out years into the future.

There’s a need to dispel misconceptions about counselling—and no, it’s not just limited to couples in crises but a proactive measure for a duo that’s committed to their bond. While the image of a Mr. and Mrs. Smith-esque troubled couple airing their grievances on a therapist’s couch may come to some people’s minds, the reality is far from it. Prevention is better than cure, and that’s exactly what premarital counselling aims to address.

There are many benefits of therapy, and here’s why couples planning to spend a lifetime together should seek counselling when deciding to tie the knot:

Building bridges, not just fixing cracks

Pre-marital counselling promotes healthy communication between the couple, equipping partners to navigate future disagreements constructively, and with helpful communication patterns that will serve them well for years to come. It provides a safe space to discuss often uncomfortable topics like finances, in-law dynamics, and family planning, ensuring both partners are on the same page. Having these conversations about children and career planning in the presence of a professional helps you identify and address potential areas of conflict before they escalate. It’s always better to talk it out than let conflicting feelings simmer inside and eventually turn into resentment.

The Ripple Effect: Benefits for Families

The positive impact of pre-marital counselling extends beyond the couple. In the context of blended families, particularly prevalent in Indian marriages where extended family involvement is common, counselling becomes an invaluable resource. A neutral therapist serves as a mediator, creating a safe space where all parties can openly express their anxieties, expectations, and concerns. It’s a rare opportunity for heartfelt conversations where everyone feels heard and understood. It helps families define healthy boundaries and cultivates a culture where expressing your feelings is valued and practised.

A Proactive Investment

Pre-marital counselling is not a sign of brewing trouble; it’s a wise investment in your future happiness. There are many benefits of couples therapy, and choosing to make that effort demonstrates a commitment to mutual growth and alignment, both essential ingredients for a strong marriage. No one is perfect, but seeking therapy is a sign that you’re willing to make this work, and that you’re in it for the long haul.

Remember, a successful marriage hinges on the four pillars of love, friendship, trust, and respect, and honest communication is the force that keeps these pillars upright. When a couple is committed to growth, acknowledging their imperfections, and embracing their unwavering desire to share their lives, the role of a counsellor becomes a lot more effective. However, it’s crucial to understand that counselling isn’t a quick fix—it requires dedicated effort and active participation from both partners. Through open discussions and alignment of future visions, premarital counselling provides the perfect springboard to launch your journey towards a fulfilling and lasting union.

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Throughout our lives, we have been swept away by the appeal of love stories spun on screens big
and small, each painting a vivid picture of a much-anticipated wedding. The big day is grand,
and holds thousands of memories of the cinematic I do’s, where childhood dreams unfurl in
dramatic fashion. From the little girl draped in her mother’s makeup and lehenga, envisioning
her fairy-tale moment, to the boy dreaming of his future family, marriage goes beyond mere
ceremony.
A healthy marriage is a product of love and effort that must be moulded, kneaded, and
constantly shaped and reshaped as you grow together. More than the grand gestures, it’s the
little things—the stolen kisses, the inside jokes, the late-night conversations, and the silent
morning routines that you find comfort in.
Sure, a trip to Seychelles or a marathon of romcoms might sprinkle some magic, but real
happiness? Thats found in everyday moments and mundane routines. So, what holds a
marriage together? While there can be many debates on what makes a marriage work, a few
fundamentals have proven to last the test of time –

1. Let Trust Guide The Way

In a thriving marriage, trust and respect stand tall as the pillars of strength. Trust allows you to
be open, to share your dreams and fears without fear of judgment. Respect, on the other hand,
acknowledges your partners uniqueness, aspirations, and perspectives, even when they differ
from your own. Its the assurance that even if your paths momentarily diverge, you'll always find
your way back to each other.

2. Communicate beyond words

Communication is more than just words; its about truly listening to understand. It goes beyond
words, and you must learn how to decipher nonverbal cues and understand each others subtle
signals. Sometimes, a simple gesture speaks louder than a thousand words. Remember those
moments when a warm embrace or a thoughtful gesture from a loved one spoke volumes? Or
when a parent silently slid us a plate of chopped fruits after a fight? Its those little acts of love
that truly deepen our connections, and turn into lasting memories.
Of course, verbalizing our feelings is important too, but its essential to recognise that we all
come from different backgrounds and experiences, shaping how we express ourselves. So,
approach those difficult conversations with empathy and a willingness to find common ground.
After all, its not just about what we say; its about how we say it and how willing we are to listen.

3. Build a Happy Home

Friendship is the heartbeat of any relationship, infusing it with joy, comfort, and mutual respect.
A happy home resonates with laughter and warmth, where every member feels valued and
cherished. Shared interests, whether in travel, social causes, or family values, provide a common
thread that weaves unity and purpose into the marriage. While these shared values provide a
sturdy foundation, its your individuality that adds value and richness. Make your home a safe
space, where both partners have the fundamental freedom to be themselves—a judgment-free
zone where vulnerability is welcomed and celebrated. Regularly try to find time to indulge in
shared hobbies and interests, as these moments often hold the most magic.

4. Be Committed to Growth

Marriages are dynamic entities, constantly evolving alongside the individuals within them. Be
willing to evolve together, to support each others dreams, and to challenge each other to be the
best versions of yourselves. Dont shy away from seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor
if necessary; its a proactive step toward nurturing your relationship. Remember, growth often
requires stepping out of your comfort zone, but the rewards are always worth it.
The key takeaway? Happy marriages don’t come in ready-made packages that you just pick off
the shelves. They are tailor-made, crafted with care and commitment. ​​Even the most
enviable #couplegoals relationships experience highs and lows, and thats perfectly natural.
Marriage is messy and imperfect, but with the right companion, its profoundly rewarding.
There will be off-notes, but with enough love and intention, you will figure out how to
strengthen your marriage, and navigate through the life you have built together.

Marriage. Shaadi. Kalyanam. Vivaah. Nikaah. Parinaya. These words have been the
cornerstone of our society for centuries. Today the institution often finds itself facing questions
in the modern realm of love. Why then, amid a multitude of relationship options available,
should I choose the path of “I do”?
The truth is, marriage isn’t a fairy tale ending. It’s more like a well-matched hit and trial of two
batsmen. Ready to have it out and all on the field– a journey ahead of a shared life and vision
perhaps. That is our best guess. It demands commitment, consistency, and a willingness to grow
alongside another person. Every single morning, whether you wake up next to them or not.

Strength in Numbers

Imagine navigating life’s inevitable icks with a companion by your side. Someone who celebrates
your victories with Italian recipes, offers to do laundry on a Sunday, holds your hand through
career setbacks, and provides a constant shoulder of encouragement. Or one to cry on. Marriage
is this unwavering support system. Studies suggest married couples tend to experience greater
well-being, both physically and emotionally. This sense of security and shared purpose can
contribute to a more fulfilling life.

Beyond the Vows: Personal Growth

It is more than just shared finances and social obligations. It’s a continuous learning experience
for personal development. You learn to navigate differences, develop effective communication
skills, and appreciate each other’s unique perspectives. It’s a constant process of self-discovery,
often revealing hidden strengths and a deeper understanding of oneself. After all there has to be
some sane explanation to leaving wet towels on the bed eh.

Building a Legacy

For many, marriage lays the groundwork for a family, a home built on love, friendship and
mutual respect. While not a necessity for everyone, marriage offers a stable environment that
can contribute to the well-being of children. Studies indicate that children raised in married
households tend to have stronger social connections and achieve greater academic success.

Financial Stability

Finances are often a source of tension in any relationship. However, marriage can be a powerful
tool for achieving financial stability. By combining resources, divesting individual funds and
working towards shared goals, couples can create a sound financial bank. They can leverage
each other’s strengths, hold each other accountable for bad ITR decisions, and benefit from legal
and tax advantages associated with marriage.

Marriage: A Choice, Never a Mandate

It is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Fulfilling lives can be built outside the confines of
matrimony. However, for those who choose it, marriage offers a unique set of challenges and
rewards. It’s a partnership that encourages growth, celebrates life’s triumphs, and provides a
secure haven during the storm.
So, why marriage? Wrong question. Why not marriage?

The Only Guide You Need to Manage Your Wanxiety… Wedding Anxiety!

So, you’re getting married? Congratulations! You’re also most probably on the precipice of a
nervous breakdown, drowning in a sea of save-the-dates and chaat menu options. Wedding
planning is that beautiful monster under the bed. But it should not suck the joy out of your big
day. So here’s your survival guide to achieving unconventional wedding zen:

1. Ditch the Pinterest Perfection

Your feed makes weddings look like staged fairytales. Newsflash: They are staged, indeed. But
your day will in all likelihood be messy, unique, and absolutely alright in its own way. Let go of
the pressure to curate an Instagram-worthy ceremony. Embrace the rogue group of cousins
photobombing your vows or even a mimosa- drunk bride! It’s a spectrum of unexpected events.
And all you need to plan for is when can I get out of this gold zari fancy dress costume!

2. Channel Your Anxiety

Forget freaking out. If you’re feeling the nerves or simply overwhelmed? Blast your favorite song
or have a solo dance party. Record voice notes of exactly how you were feeling and why. You will
look back at those audios and cringe but at least it helps to release those jitters, embrace the
absurdity, and strut through your pre-wedding commitments.

3. Delegate and Embrace the “No”

You are the main character on this day, yes. But keep reminding yourself that that is neither
playing Wonder Woman nor Superman. Delegate tasks! You can’t please everyone. Menaka
chaachi wants a shaahi band? Mahesh ji has strong opinions on centrepieces? Learn the art of
saying “no.” Your wedding is a celebration of your love, not a venue contest. Prioritise how you
are feeling including who and what matters to you and your partner the most.

4. Schedule Sanity Breaks

Wedding planning is a marathon, not a sprint. Weddings can get bride- or groom-zilla-centric.
Escape to nature, have a spa day, or whatever de-stresses you. A well-rested, relaxed you is a
happy you (and a much better decision-maker). Remember, this is about celebrating your love
as a couple! Plan activities together, make decisions jointly, and focus on the joy of starting your
lives together.

5. Remember, It’s a Party!

Take a step back. In the grand scheme of things, a slightly lopsided cake or a simple speech
won’t matter. What will matter is the lifelong commitment you make to your partner. Focus on
the love, laughter, and memories you’ll create, not the minor hiccups. At the end of the day, your
wedding is a party to celebrate your love with your favourite people. Let loose and soak in the joy
of your special day.
Bonus Tip: Hire a dance instructor to choreograph a killer first dance with your partner.
By prioritising your well-being, you can approach your wedding with a sense of humour,
perspective, and most importantly, joy. After all, the most important element of your wedding
day isn’t the flowers or the cake – it’s the love you share with your partner. Now go forth,
celebrate your love story, and don’t forget to record all the dances!

Live-in relationships have stirred up a lot of conversations in India, with reactions ranging from conservative hawww’s in unison to more liberal outlooks of acceptance. Some believe that what two adults choose to do with their lives is no one’s business, as long as it’s not illegal (which live-ins aren’t, fortunately), while some argue that the idea itself is fundamentally against our cultural heritage.

However, despite all the uproar against globalisation and Western culture, Indians are no strangers to the idea of live-in relationships, even if they wouldn’t approve of them closer to home. From Salaam Namaste back in 2005 to blockbusters like Pyaar Ka Punchnama (2011), Cocktail (2012), Aashiqui 2 (2013), or Luka Chhupi (2019), cohabitation has been very normal on Indian screens.

While there may be dissenting opinions from conservative circles, it’s essential to recognise that the concept of what is ‘decent’ and culturally acceptable is subjective and constantly evolving. India’s rich diversity encompasses various levels of modernisation and acceptance. Whether one opts for a love marriage or an arranged one, delving into a profound understanding of a partner is pivotal.

It’s important to create a space where individuals can make informed choices about their relationships and lives. Here are some factors to be considered when choosing to cohabitate with your partner:

Legal Landscape and Rights

It’s important to acknowledge that although live-in relationships are not illegal in India, they lack the same legal recognition as marriage. This absence of formal recognition can pose challenges, particularly for couples who don’t view marriage as the endgame. Issues such as property rights, inheritance, and child custody may become more complex without the legal safeguards afforded to married couples. A comprehensive legal framework has yet to be established, leaving many aspects of these relationships uncertain and potentially precarious.

The Conservative Viewpoint

Traditional sections of Indian society still view live-in relationships as taboo and a threat to cultural values. Such relationships are often seen as a sign of rebellion against societal norms and disrespect for the institution of marriage. Additionally, there are concerns regarding the implications of live-in arrangements on family dynamics, as well as apprehensions surrounding the rights of women in the absence of a formal, legally recognised union.

The Compatibility Factor

They say you truly get to know someone once you get to live with them, and living together may either solidify your bond or help you take the rose-tinted glasses off. Whatever the result is, Isn’t it preferable to explore these dynamics before committing to a lifetime together?

Consider how your partner responds when faced with adversity. Do they remain level-headed or become irritable when things don’t go as planned? How do they handle everyday inconveniences, like slow wifi or a malfunctioning air-conditioner? Are they willing to share household responsibilities, such as kitchen duties or taking out the trash? The answers to these questions can reveal compatibility in a relationship. By experiencing life together under one roof, you gain valuable insights into each other’s habits, attitudes, and communication styles. This firsthand knowledge is invaluable in making informed decisions about the future of your relationship.

Globally, the prevalence of cohabitation or living together as unmarried partners has significantly increased, nearly doubling since 1990. In a survey conducted by Pew Research, 44% of all adults, and over half of adults aged 30 to 49, disclosed that they have cohabited at some stage in their lives. Interestingly, among those who have cohabited, approximately two-thirds (64%) viewed this living arrangement as a progression toward marriage
The discourse surrounding live-in relationships sparks discussions about individual rights, privacy, evolving social norms, and redefining relationships in modern India. As society progresses, it’s vital to engage in open, respectful conversations about these choices, respecting adults’ autonomy in shaping their lives and relationships. In the prevalent culture of arranged marriages in India, understanding one’s partner deeply may not always top the list of priorities. However, by weighing the pros and cons, individuals can make informed decisions about whether live-in relationships align with their relationship goals.

In an era dominated by smartphones, constant connectivity, and 14-hour screen times, our lives have undergone a profound transformation. The world, once compartmentalised, has now shrunk and merged into one interconnected reality. While this shift offers undeniable convenience, it has etched a lasting impact on our relationships, raising concerns about the toll it takes on genuine human connections. As the entire world resides at our fingertips, are we inadvertently allowing our real-world relationships to slip away?

The Problem:

Imagine a couple sharing a couch, both engrossed in their individual screens, physically together but emotionally worlds apart. Unfortunately, it’s the reality of more households than you’d think. The advent of smartphones, laptops, and tablets has given rise to a digital divide, where the hypnotic allure of screens pulls us away from the present. While we spend hours scrolling through fleeting dopamine hits, reality slips through our fingers. The convenience of constant connectivity, ironically, hinders genuine connection in your life, leading to feelings of alienation and the loss of emotional depth. Amid the appeal of celebrity gossip, fashion trends, sports updates, and global affairs, there arises a need, as Gen Z puts it, to “touch grass.”

Unplugging Together:

The first step toward bridging the digital divide in relationships is to consciously unplug together – a modern-day echo of our parents urging us to step away from our computers and embrace the outdoors. However, this time around, the responsibility of discipline lies with us.

Establishing mutually agreed-upon periods, ideally daily, creates sacred moments of disconnection from the digital realm. It might be as simple as powering down devices during dinner or committing to a few screen-free minutes before bed. By sharing this commitment, couples can rekindle the undivided attention and presence that technology often robs from intimate moments.

Technology Agreements:

Setting clear guidelines on when technology is off-limits can be a powerful tool in mitigating the negative impact of constant connectivity. Designate specific times or activities during which gadgets are set aside, allowing couples to engage fully in each other’s company. This might involve a pact to keep phones away during meals or agree on a technology-free window during shared activities. Establishing these boundaries not only carves out space for meaningful connection but also reinforces the idea that certain moments are sacred and technology-free. This practice is equally helpful for couples with children, as instilling healthy habits from a young age sets the foundation for a balanced relationship with technology.

Catch Each Other in the Moment:
In a world where scrolling through social media often takes precedence over real-life conversations, intentionally catching each other in the moment becomes crucial. Create opportunities for genuine, screen-free interactions. During intimate times, put away the gadgets and engage in face-to-face conversations. Ask questions, share experiences, and consciously allocate more time to activities you both cherish.

While it might seem obvious, the reality is that these priorities can easily slip away in the hustle of daily life. Whether it’s an exotic trip to the Bahamas, a long-awaited trek, or the simplicity of a domestic stroll or grocery run, the key is to dedicate quality time together—sans the intrusion of phones. Prioritising these moments can help couples rebuild emotional intimacy and foster a deeper understanding of each other.

In our tech-dominated era, recognising the impact of technology on relationships is crucial. As screens vie for attention, these small acts of intentional disconnection can serve as lifelines, tethering us back to the tangible connection we share with our family. By embracing the art of unplugging, we can reclaim the essence of meaningful relationships, ensuring they flourish here and now, in our physical reality. In this pursuit of balance, let’s remember that profound moments are often found in the simplicity of being present with those we love.

First dates and meetings can be thrilling, nerve-wracking, and everything in between. Add an arranged marriage situation to the mix, and that raises the stakes even higher. In the world of arranged marriages, first encounters aren’t just butterflies and awkward smiles; they’re stepping stones to a lifetime ahead. While it’s natural to start with the basics, asking about their favourite F1 teams or indie artists isn’t enough. You must dive deeper to understand their perspectives, future goals, and what truly stirs their heart.

To ensure a solid foundation for future dates and, possibly, a life together, it’s essential to ask all
the right questions. Here are eight pivotal questions to ask before an arranged marriage to ensure
alignment and understanding between potential partners:

1. What are your long-term aspirations, and how do you envision your life in the next five to ten years?

Before commitment, delve deeper into each other’s future aspirations. Ask what lies ahead- are there mountains to climb, businesses to build, or families to nurture? Discuss life goals, hopes for the future, and your envisioned life journey together. By sharing these aspirations, we can unveil any potential misalignments and build a foundation of compatibility. It’s about co-creating a future that reflects your unique desires, not just fitting into someone else’s vision.

2. Do you want children?

Do tiny footprints paint your future dreams? Be it a joyful “yes,” a hesitant “maybe,” or a firm “no,” share your desires honestly. Remember, every answer deserves respect. Family planning includes candid conversations about the desire for children and the ideal number, considering factors like career goals, finances, and age. Before getting married, this is one of the most important topics to be on the same page about.

3. What role do you envision for our families in our future life together?

Openly discuss your desired levels of involvement, both from your and your partner’s families. Remember, just as some crave the comfort of close-knit clans, others prefer a more independent space. Speak frankly about boundaries, decision-making regarding in-laws, living arrangements, and expectations around caregiving. Acknowledge and
respect cultural norms, but don’t let them overshadow your own needs and aspirations as
a couple.

4. How do you handle disagreements or conflicts?

Whether you’re a natural pacifist, prefer a cooling-off period, brush issues under the rug, or express emotions immediately and assertively – how you handle disputes reflects your inner self. Understanding each other’s conflict styles is crucial for evaluating long-term compatibility. Individuals valuing open communication may struggle with silent treatments, while those favouring avoidance may find fiery arguments challenging. Consider if your disagreement styles clash and how it might impact marital harmony.

5. What priorities do you assign to your career and personal life?

Picture your perfect day, is it conquering a board meeting or trekking with loved ones? Or perhaps it’s a blend of both, where career ambitions seamlessly intertwine with family time. Express your priorities on work-life balance and explore if they align with your partner’s. In the early stages, unravel these aspirations, discuss where your heart truly lies, and co-create a vision that harmonises your professional and personal lives.

6. What are your views on finances, savings, and spending?

Let’s be real, finances matter. Don’t let the “awkward money talk” linger, and have open, honest conversations about financial compatibility early on to build a strong foundation for your future. Discuss any existing debts, your spending habits, and how you envision shared expenses.

7. What are your dealbreakers in a relationship?

We all have boundaries, those lines in the sand we don’t want crossed. Sharing these non-negotiables early on isn’t about creating walls, but about building bridges of understanding and saving each other from future heartbreak. Are their dealbreakers compatible with your values and lifestyle? Discuss openly, and explore if they’re absolute or have areas for growth.

8. What are your core values?

Cliché or not, core values reveal the essence of a person. They are the compass directing their choices and actions, reflecting who they are when times get tough. Ideas like integrity and compassion aren’t just buzzwords – but principles that ultimately reveal their character. So, go beyond the surface and understand how they perceive and navigate the world. It’s in these values that you uncover the depth and authenticity of an
individual.

While deciding on a life partner after just one meeting is unrealistic, the initial conversation lays the groundwork for the future. While Indian and American arranged marriages may have significant differences, it’s essential to approach these discussions with wisdom, patience, and understanding. Remember, this isn’t a test, but a conversation. Don’t just ask questions, but listen deeply and introspect. Let your souls speak, and see if the answers resonate.

For more, talk to our premium matchmaking specialists at Vows for eternity.

It’s an age-old riddle: What is the best age to get married? This question, rooted in the crossroads of tradition and modernity, reverberates throughout life, echoing through conversations with family, friends, and even within our own minds. While deciding the best age for marriage is subjective and inherently personal, diverse perspectives offer insights into this timeless question.

Let’s address the legalities upfront. In India, the legal age for marriage is 18 for women and 21 for men. However, the ‘right’ age is less about legality and more about individual aspirations, societal expectations, and biological realities.

The Roaring Twenties: Traditionally, early marriages were the norm, with the 20s being the preferred entry point into matrimony. Research backs this up to an extent. According to a study by the Demographic Research Unit in Kerala, the best age to get married for a man is between 25-30, and for a woman between 20-25, as indicated by the lower divorce rates.

However, the modern Indian youth paints a different picture. With rising educational pursuits and career ambitions, the 20s are often seen as a time for self-discovery and professional establishment. A 2022 survey by the Times of India revealed that only 5% of urban youth preferred marriage in their 20s, with the focus shifting towards financial stability and emotional maturity. This coincides with the completion of frontal lobe development around 25, linked to better decision-making and emotional regulation.

Nicholas Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, posits the Goldilocks Theory, suggesting that the late 20s to early 30s is the perfect age for marriage, neither too young nor too old, but “just right”.

The Evolving Thirties: Stepping into the 30s brings a different dance to the equation. Societal pressures begin to simmer, and the “biological clock” ticks louder for some. Women, in particular, face the pressure of declining fertility rates after 35. Men, while not experiencing the same sharp decline, also witness a gradual decrease after 40.

However, the 30s also bring financial stability, emotional grounding, and a clearer vision for the future. For career-driven individuals, this can be the sweet spot for finding a compatible partner who complements their goals and aspirations. Studies have shown that marriages in the late 30s tend to be more stable and satisfying, likely due to increased maturity and self-awareness. As they say, the more we settle into ourselves, the better we get at settling down with others.
As for biological considerations, modern science offers solutions like egg freezing for women prioritising careers in their 20s and early 30s, preserving the option to build families later.

The Enigmatic Forties: In India, the 40s and beyond were once considered a ‘late’ stage for marriage. However, contemporary times have rewritten this narrative. Women are delaying motherhood, pursuing their careers, and embracing solo living with gusto. Men are redefining masculinity, prioritising health and wellness, and embracing fatherhood later in life.
For individuals in their 40s, marriage becomes a conscious choice, often fueled by a desire for companionship and shared experiences. These marriages tend to be based on mutual respect, emotional maturity, and a deep understanding of one’s own wants and needs.

So, is there an ideal age to get married? The answer is nuanced and individualistic. There’s no magic number, no universal recipe, and no ‘perfect’ age to marry. The key lies in understanding your priorities, respecting your personal timeline, and embracing the unique journey that lies ahead.

Whether you’re a 20-year-old chasing dreams, a 30-year-old scaling mountains, or a 40-year-old rediscovering yourself, remember – the ideal age for marriage is when you find the partner who makes your heart flutter and fits into your future plans. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and whether you choose family now or later, there’s a vibrant community waiting to celebrate your journey at every stage.